Did I buy the wrong car? A story of Heart vs. Head

[EZcomeEZgo]

The Gist:
I'm a new dad, and I bought my first new car around the time my kid was born. The problem is I narrowed my options down to two choices: 2021 Subaru Outback Onyx XT (Turbo) and the 2021 Toyota 4Runner TRD Off-Road. Came home with the Subaru because on paper it checked all the boxes. Then why this feeling of regret and FOMO?

My analysis:
To me it came down to head vs. heart. The list of requirements

a) new
b) SUV
c) high safety rating
d) spacious
e) very reliable
f) good fuel economy
g) < $40k

With that said, I compared it to the the car I've kept my eye on for the last couple of years which is the 4R. I had a hand-me-down one in college and it was great! However, I remember always filling that thing up, and apparently that aspect hasn't changed. The dealer sticker was around $46k so it kind of priced itself out of my grasp. Furthermore, my sister who has two kids told me that she HATES my brother-in-law's Land Cruiser because it's so high off the ground, and a pain for her to load child car seats into...but she said their Subaru CrossTrek was great!

I thought hmm...never thought about Subaru before. Never owned one and never driven one. It turns out that we had a family friend who was a GM at one of our local dealerships and he gave me a great deal on a 2021 Subaru Outback Onyx XT. It's a turbocharged 2.4L Boxter motor cranking out 260hp. It rides smooth, has a ton of tech for the price, and checks all the boxes I needed. I got pretty drunk on the Subaru Kool-aid and brought it home, and it's pretty amazing, I have to say. It has full-time AWD and dual X-Mode which is a computer program that utilizes the AWD to dig the car out of most off road situations (similar to Toyota's Crawl Control). Oh and for it's size and capacity it's really good on gas (23city 30hwy). As I suspect a lot of new dads do, I suddenly all these grand fantasies of taking the family camping in all these remote places.

I'm not sure what happened, but after a few months of owning it, I read an article that after this current gen 4R (which has a basic BoF and engine design that hasn't changed in like 30 years or something...that's how well designed and built it is), Toyota is going to completely redesign the motor to fall in line with modern day demands. Things like dropping the motor down to a 4cyl and introducing hybrid tech. I got extreme FOMO because that means this current gen 4R is the last of that amazingly reliable motor which has had like 30+ years to prove it's worth and reliability, thus proving itself last forever and have amazing resale value. Plus it's a real 4x4 that can basically blind travel. But the 4R is +$10k more and would have cost almost twice as much to operate (gas). Also, the ride is pretty rough and an inch higher off the ground. But although the payment would've been higher, it wouldn't have been unmanageable.

Now, I'm not really an off-road guy although I learned through this new car shopping experience that car companies really sell the "rugged" image hard, especially to new parents because they KNOW you're not ready to pull the minivan trigger. "You need to take your kids to soccer practice inside a volcano? Well let me show you the Outback/4Runner. But still, I'm a fan of paying for reliability (hence Rolex) because I'm at an age where I just want things to work properly. But off-roading is something I really want to try, and it seems like you can go harder in a 4R.

I think that had money been no object, I would've picked the 4R, and I might still pursue a used 4R in the future, but if that article I read is true, that means the price of used current Gen 4R's are going to skyrocket. It really came down to an issue of what's practical vs. what I really want. Practicality won out in this case, and don't get me wrong I LOVE my Subaru. It makes long drives home from work enjoyable and is apparently really good in the snow and rain. What do you guys think?

Thanks for reading and every be well and stay safe!

[swils8610]

Subaru’s are a great cars. I have a 4-Runner Limited so I’m biased. I love it.


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[pickettt]

I have a Forester and a Tacoma (a 4Runner with a bed, if you will). Both of those cars you considered are going to be very reliable by today's standards. If it's going to be your daily driver, you chose well with the Subaru. I wouldn't buy a $50k 4Runner on the premise that you might want to go drive off-road 2 or 3 times over the life of your vehicle. If you were already an off-roader, it'd be a different conversation. So again, I think you did well.

[bremersm]

The current Outback is a vehicle I just can't love. It is huge for what it is; a two row wagon. For as many as I see they must be doing something right. I have a friends and family with newer versions and they love them but I can not warm up.

The 4Runner on the other hand is amazing and a good vehicle for a family with up to two children.

[Gab27]

You bought a really good car. The FA24F engine in your Subaru is proving itself to be really reliable, and a beefier version of it will probably even power the next generation WRX STI, replacing the old EJ257 as the FA makes considerable modernizations across the board.

[henrylee]

Get what the heart wants, go for 4Runner.

[AzPaul]

Originally Posted by EZcomeEZgo

What do you guys think?

I think with a young family, you shouldn't be wasting your angst on the SUV that got away.

[Dyim]

Just drive the subie for now. Changing now you will take a bath from depreciation.

Wait a few more years, then think about getting something else.

Your financial situation could improve and you might be looking for something much better than the 4R.

[77T]

Don’t overthink it - anyone can buy a Toyota...it takes a thinking person to buy a Subaru!

And when you hand this one down to the grownup kid, it’ll be still a good ride.


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[avusblue]

Originally Posted by swils8610

Subaru’s are a great cars. I have a 4-Runner Limited so I’m biased. I love it.

Ditto!!

[airchitect]

You picked the best vehicle for your young family. I have a gx460 (the 4Runners more developed cousin) and while it rides well etc, it....
Has rarely been off road
Is very narrow
Very heavy
Very thirsty
The driving position sucks like all Toyota trucks (kills my back)
And is actually very small inside for the size (weight) of the vehicle.


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[vh2k]

Originally Posted by AzPaul

I think with a young family, you shouldn't be wasting your angst on the SUV that got away.

This. You’re a new dad. Enjoy life.

In five years or whenever, you’ll likely have another opportunity to choose a new vehicle. Time flies.

[m j b]

All the other stuff aside, do you enjoy driving the car?

[1William]

I get the car thing as I am 41 years into it. I have done what you have done and let the head win out over the heart and vice versa. In the end you made the wrong choice as you would not have these feelings if the Subaru was all that and it checked all of the boxes. Welcome to the club and I can tell you numerous vehicles, watches, investments, etc. that have me doing the same thing. In the end you made the decision that you believed was right at the time based on where you are and your life situation. But once you got into the ownership experience it should have been the 4Runner. So correct the situation and go find the 4Runner that works. It will cost you but if done with your head and not your heart it should not be that bad. You will have the vehicle that you want and you will have learned about balance between the head and heart. I own a 2021 Toyota 4Runner XP Predator that has the TRD package on it and came in a lot less than what you quoted. It has enough 4 wheel drive for what I will do and the looks are nice. Good luck and let us know what you decide to do.

[brandrea]

My advice is go with your head when it comes to cars.

You have to have the disposable income to warrant a “heart” auto purchase

[HobokenRolex]

First, congrats on becoming a new dad! On the car, I’m sure the Outback will serve you well for at least a few years. You can always get the 4R later. They last forever and aren’t hard to find in good condition. They are kind of expensive used, but that’s a reflection of them holding their value. I was recently between a lightly used 4Runner and a 2017 Lexus GX460. Went with the Lexus because it was around the same price as the 4Runner (but with a nicer interior). I will definitely consider the 4Runner again when it’s time for another vehicle.

Regardless of the car, enjoy your time with the little one!

[Chester01]

Originally Posted by EZcomeEZgo

The Gist:
I'm a new dad, and I bought my first new car around the time my kid was born. The problem is I narrowed my options down to two choices: 2021 Subaru Outback Onyx XT (Turbo) and the 2021 Toyota 4Runner TRD Off-Road. Came home with the Subaru because on paper it checked all the boxes. Then why this feeling of regret and FOMO?

My analysis:
To me it came down to head vs. heart. The list of requirements

a) new
b) SUV
c) high safety rating
d) spacious
e) very reliable
f) good fuel economy
g) < $40k

With that said, I compared it to the the car I've kept my eye on for the last couple of years which is the 4R. I had a hand-me-down one in college and it was great! However, I remember always filling that thing up, and apparently that aspect hasn't changed. The dealer sticker was around $46k so it kind of priced itself out of my grasp. Furthermore, my sister who has two kids told me that she HATES my brother-in-law's Land Cruiser because it's so high off the ground, and a pain for her to load child car seats into...but she said their Subaru CrossTrek was great!

I thought hmm...never thought about Subaru before. Never owned one and never driven one. It turns out that we had a family friend who was a GM at one of our local dealerships and he gave me a great deal on a 2021 Subaru Outback Onyx XT. It's a turbocharged 2.4L Boxter motor cranking out 260hp. It rides smooth, has a ton of tech for the price, and checks all the boxes I needed. I got pretty drunk on the Subaru Kool-aid and brought it home, and it's pretty amazing, I have to say. It has full-time AWD and dual X-Mode which is a computer program that utilizes the AWD to dig the car out of most off road situations (similar to Toyota's Crawl Control). Oh and for it's size and capacity it's really good on gas (23city 30hwy). As I suspect a lot of new dads do, I suddenly all these grand fantasies of taking the family camping in all these remote places.

I'm not sure what happened, but after a few months of owning it, I read an article that after this current gen 4R (which has a basic BoF and engine design that hasn't changed in like 30 years or something...that's how well designed and built it is), Toyota is going to completely redesign the motor to fall in line with modern day demands. Things like dropping the motor down to a 4cyl and introducing hybrid tech. I got extreme FOMO because that means this current gen 4R is the last of that amazingly reliable motor which has had like 30+ years to prove it's worth and reliability, thus proving itself last forever and have amazing resale value. Plus it's a real 4x4 that can basically blind travel. But the 4R is +$10k more and would have cost almost twice as much to operate (gas). Also, the ride is pretty rough and an inch higher off the ground. But although the payment would've been higher, it wouldn't have been unmanageable.

Now, I'm not really an off-road guy although I learned through this new car shopping experience that car companies really sell the "rugged" image hard, especially to new parents because they KNOW you're not ready to pull the minivan trigger. "You need to take your kids to soccer practice inside a volcano? Well let me show you the Outback/4Runner. But still, I'm a fan of paying for reliability (hence Rolex) because I'm at an age where I just want things to work properly. But off-roading is something I really want to try, and it seems like you can go harder in a 4R.

I think that had money been no object, I would've picked the 4R, and I might still pursue a used 4R in the future, but if that article I read is true, that means the price of used current Gen 4R's are going to skyrocket. It really came down to an issue of what's practical vs. what I really want. Practicality won out in this case, and don't get me wrong I LOVE my Subaru. It makes long drives home from work enjoyable and is apparently really good in the snow and rain. What do you guys think?

Thanks for reading and every be well and stay safe!

I just got the onyx Xt and owned a 4 runner. The 4 runner is great but so is the Subaru. For me, the clear winner and it’s not close when you do your home work is with kids/family it suby is a top safety pick and the 4Runner is like nhtsb 4 stars when like 90% of cars have 5 stars, the nhtsb is less rigorous than the iihs. The Subaru also feels better around corners and turns. Yes the 4 runner is a beast in the snow, but the Subaru is no slouch.

[swils8610]

Originally Posted by avusblue

Ditto!!

Nice!!! I bought mine in magnetic grey with the black interior.


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[acrds1]

Nothing holds value like a Toyota these days. I would go for the 4 Runner its a much better long term vehicle.

[TheVTCGuy]

My new philosophy after all this Covid Bullsh*#. Life is short, buy what you will enjoy.

[Chester01]

Originally Posted by acrds1

Nothing holds value like a Toyota these days. I would go for the 4 Runner its a much better long term vehicle.

Depends, the safety issue is a big deal for patents and made the decision for me. We all like to think they won’t happen but been hit by other drivers several times in my life and came a hair from a major one last year though no fault of my own. When it happens, and if my family is with me, I want the safest. It was tough being I owned one many years ago and it was fantastic (albeit underpowered at the time 1994 model). I’m not an engineer but don’t know why they can’t make some of these vehicles safer. As far as reliability, from my research is a close horse race, though the 4 runner likely edges out the Subaru, but the gap between them in safety is very, very wide.


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[Slimpee]

I wanted a used AMG.

But with dad life I ended up with a used diesel ML.

I failed.

But damn me if I don’t love the thing.