Do you insist on making your kids call you Sir or Madam?

[Dyim]

My youngest calls me bro as kind of a joke.

I told him I don’t have a brother.

But he still does it anyways.

[Mendota]

Originally Posted by AF_Rob

Sir/ma’am wasn’t required in my family. Unless it was for teachers/school staff and first responders. However, titles such as aunt, uncle and so on were required within the family. I was not allowed to address any adult outside the family by their first name, unless they insisted. If I met an adult as a child, I still call them mr/mrs today.


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Same here. It still feels really strange calling my parents' close friends by their first names after literally calling them Mr. and Mrs. So and So during my entire childhood and college days. I still call all of my uncles and aunts "uncle so and so" or "aunt so and so."

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[pickettt]

Originally Posted by Brew

I don’t like it when kids call me by my first name. I like it less when their parents don’t correct them. I don’t say anything; try not to wince, etc.

My parents are both gone. When I see their old friends, they are still Mr./Mrs. So and So or some times Uncle/Aunt.

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The new standard is “Mr. [first name]” for younger kids. I’m not sure I like that practice, but I’m not in the business of raising other people’s kids. But you’re right, on the occasion a kid calls me by my first name, my first thought is, “Who TF are you talking to?”

[Brew]

Originally Posted by pickettt

The new standard is “Mr. [first name]” for younger kids. I’m not sure I like that practice, but I’m not in the business of raising other people’s kids.

Try not to wince, and move on . . . .


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[Blansky]

I hope not.

If some kid called me sir, I'd run like hell because I never had kids......that I know of.

Only thing worse if they called me dad.

[pickettt]

How about this; Though I met my wife first, my BIL and I have been friends and business partners for 30 years. We've been in proximity for a long time. I have NEVER IN 30 YEARS heard him say my wife's name...not once, directly or indirectly. He has always referred to her as Oneesan (older sister). Japanese respect is a whole other level.

[TheVTCGuy]

Originally Posted by pickettt

How about this; Though I met my wife first, my BIL and I have been friends and business partners for 30 years. We've been in proximity for a long time. I have NEVER IN 30 YEARS heard him say my wife's name...not once, directly or indirectly. He has always referred to her as Oneesan (older sister). Japanese respect is a whole other level.

Agree. I worked at Sony for 12 years and learned the Japanese concept of respect; very admirable IMHO.

[TheVTCGuy]

The other day I was in a bobo tea shop and ordered a drink from a nice (young) lady that I am assuming was a student at the local college (ASU). She called me “Sir” I turned around to see what old man she was talking to.

[fmc000]

My daughters always call me "papi", which is more or less "daddy". it would be very, very weird if the called me "Sir".

And their close friends usually call me and my wife by first name and my daughters do the same to their friends' parents.

It's very normal here in (Northern) Italy and it's absolutely not considered unpolite. It was the same when I was a kid some forty years ago with my parents' close friends and some 60 years ago for my parents with my grandparents' close friends.

On the other hand, I usually relate with my neighbors with "Sir" and "Madam" unless explicitly asked not to.

[swatty]

Gee, we are a lot more casual down under

[AK797]

Originally Posted by pickettt

How about this; Though I met my wife first, my BIL and I have been friends and business partners for 30 years. We've been in proximity for a long time. I have NEVER IN 30 YEARS heard him say my wife's name...not once, directly or indirectly. He has always referred to her as Oneesan (older sister). Japanese respect is a whole other level.

That is more common in Asian cultures, in India you have your mother's older brother as a specific Uncle for example, and those titles are always used by younger members so even more specific than Japanese... and Oneesan is the big brother, sis is Onairsan or however that's spelt.

[pickettt]

Originally Posted by AK797

... and Oneesan is the big brother, sis is Onairsan or however that's spelt.

My Japanese is sound…..おねえさん

[daveathall]

My kids call me dad, my granddaughter calls me Granddad, I have never wanted them to call me sir.

[East Bay Rider]

My father is Dad to me.
My son calls me Dad or Pops.
Most of my son's friends (~25y/o) call me Mr.
Some call me Bill. It does seem weird since I coached these kids at one time.

Interestingly enough I've been binging on The Andy Griffith Show (~1964) and I noticed that while Opie is very respectful to the adults he does call all the adult regulars by their first names: Barney, Goober, Floyd, Gomer etc.
Exceptions for the those who hold authority: Paw, Aunt Bea, Miss Crumb

I think The Andy Griffith Show can be used as good barometer for what's good and wholesome.

[AK797]

Originally Posted by pickettt

My Japanese is sound…..おねえさん

Yup that's right. I recently saw a Japanese film and the teenage prostitute character called one of her slightly older clients Oneesan or older brother, it was a bit weird, but they often do that with anyone slightly older.

[pickettt]

Originally Posted by AK797

Yup that's right. I recently saw a Japanese film and the teenage prostitute character called one of her slightly older clients Oneesan or older brother, it was a bit weird, but they often do that with anyone slightly older.

You’re still mistaken. It’s the spelling in Roman characters that’s throwing you off. Brother is Oniisan, or おにいさん.

[JParm]

No. My kids will jokingly call me dude or bro sometimes, like others on this thread. We have a great time goofing off all the time. Ultimately, we're still Daddy and Mommy.

However, my kids are very respectful to us and others, and every adult is Mr. / Ms. (Mr. Josh, Ms. Laura). Otherwise, they know they'll get corrected.

[Boopie]

Originally Posted by pickettt

The new standard is “Mr. [first name]” for younger kids. I’m not sure I like that practice, but I’m not in the business of raising other people’s kids. But you’re right, on the occasion a kid calls me by my first name, my first thought is, “Who TF are you talking to?”

Yeah, a no-go for my kids.

We insist on our kids calling adults Mr./Mrs. The challenge was when adults would walk up to our young sons and say, “Hi, Bud, I’m Steve,” (or whatever).

A six year old is not an equal in any way to an adult, so he’s not your buddy, and you are not on a first name basis with him. When adults do that it, it undermines parental authority. There was a trend about 10-15 years ago for men (always single guys, from what I could see) calling my young sons “Bud” or “Buddy.” Interestingly, not a single coach or tutor of my boys did that, as they were trying to teach them.

The schools all had the kids refer to teachers by Mr., Mrs. or Coach. I noticed that our admittedly old-school varsity football coaches were “Coach Last Name,” and all of the younger assistant coaches were “Coach First Name.” It’s still a title, so it still worked.

I also wince when parents introduce me to their tiny tyke by my first name, without any warning. That’s a challenge because I also don’t want to undermine parental authority, and certainly won’t correct a parent in front of his or her child, but that parent just brought me down to the level of a five year old. Again, a no-go. If parents (I know moms and dads who do this) think they are their kid’s equal, that’s their problem. Good luck in the teenage years. Seriously.

I still call my doctors (who, I’ve found, keep getting younger as I get older) by their title. They are treating and diagnosing me, and I owe them respect.

Respect of elders is, I think, essential for society, as is respect for teachers and coaches by students.

[pickettt]

Originally Posted by Boopie

I still call my doctors (who, I’ve found, keep getting younger as I get older) by their title. They are treating and diagnosing me, and I owe them respect.

Respect of elders is, I think, essential for society, as is respect for teachers and coaches by students.

When schools were closed because of COVID, my son was coming to my office with me. I have dedicated maintenance men and women in our veterinary hospitals, and one of our guys is nearing 60 years old. My son once asked me why I call him "Sir," when I'm his boss. I let him know that that man is my elder, and has earned, and is worthy of my respect. I think the best thing we can do to teach respect is to show respect ourselves, as well as to be respectable ourselves.

[AK797]

Originally Posted by pickettt

You’re still mistaken. It’s the spelling in Roman characters that’s throwing you off. Brother is Oniisan, or おにいさん.

Yeah, I don't know the Romaji and its not accurate as my examples prove, plus we have a L in English and a L in Japanese so why does L suddenly become R when in English, ridiculous and causes no end of confusion and piss taking.

[pickettt]

Originally Posted by AK797

Yeah, I don't know the Romaji and its not accurate as my examples prove, plus we have a L in English and a L in Japanese so why does L suddenly become R when in English, ridiculous and causes no end of confusion and piss taking.

No L in Japanese.

[AK797]

Originally Posted by pickettt

No L in Japanese.

La Lee Loo etc not ra ree roo.

[pickettt]

Originally Posted by AK797

La Lee Loo etc not ra ree roo.

Maybe this will help…..
9645B9D5-E4B4-44BF-994A-5E46EB883951.jpeg

[Jim M]

Oldest two is Dad

Youngest two is Pops.

All are adults today and still holds.

[stockae92]

I don't, but I should. haha

[AK797]

Originally Posted by pickettt

Maybe this will help…..
Attachment 1248476

Exactly my point, those should not be Ra Ri Ru in the English or Romaji translation as they are pronounced La Li Lu in Japanese and should be in English too as we both have L, for example the common girl's name Reiko in Romaji/English is pronounced Leiko in Japanese, as there is no R, and yet when said in Romaji it becomes Reiko which sounds more like a Columbian Drugs Baron's name... as I said this translation is crazy and poor Reiko, should be Leiko, has been suffering for years. All the others make sense.

[pickettt]

Originally Posted by AK797

Exactly my point, those should not be Ra Ri Ru in the English or Romaji translation as they are pronounced La Li Lu in Japanese and should be in English too as we both have L, for example the common girl's name Reiko in Romaji/English is pronounced Leiko in Japanese, as there is no R, and yet when said in Romaji it becomes Reiko which sounds more like a Columbian Drugs Baron's name... as I said this translation is crazy and poor Reiko, should be Leiko, has been suffering for years. All the others make sense.

With all due respect, I don’t know which Japanese people you’ve been speaking with.

[AK797]

Originally Posted by pickettt

With all due respect, I don’t know which Japanese people you’ve been speaking with.

It is a little more nuanced than I was making out but at best it is a soft L in Japanese rather than a hard L like in English, but certainly not an R. Take the vid below for saying Arigato, in English the R is very hard but when she pronounces it in Japanese it is a soft L, hence why Romaji sounds wrong using R. Anyway I think we've covered this point.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cDAP...=RinalyinJAPAN

[Rock]

The "Sir" thing in American culture may be unique to the USA.
I have heard it in American movies and always thought it was bizzare.
To me it lacks the intimacy and care communicated by "Mum" or "Dad".
I don't think you would ever hear it in Australia - which is a very egalitarian culture.
Most Australian children are taught to address other adults as "Mr. or Mrs." though that often changes in late teenage when the adult invites them to use their Christian name.
I have never been one of those parents who encouraged my children to think of me as "their Mate". I am their parent and I will tell them things in honesty that they need to hear. This does not interfere with a close and supportive relationship.

[TK-710]

Originally Posted by Rock

The "Sir" thing in American culture may be unique to the USA.
I have heard it in American movies and always thought it was bizzare.
To me it lacks the intimacy and care communicated by "Mum" or "Dad".
I don't think you would ever hear it in Australia - which is a very egalitarian culture.
Most Australian children are taught to address other adults as "Mr. or Mrs." though that often changes in late teenage when the adult invites them to use their Christian name.
I have never been one of those parents who encouraged my children to think of me as "their Mate". I am their parent and I will tell them things in honesty that they need to hear. This does not interfere with a close and supportive relationship.

In my experience it might not be as rigid as I possibly first implied. With adults outside the home there were no exceptions. Inside it was different. If my dad told me to clean my room, asked if I did my homework or if I was ready for school the reply was always yes or no sir. Not yeah or nope. But there was always the good night dad, I love you dad, merry Christmas dad. In those examples dad was never replaced with sir. I carried it on with adults outside my home. My son calls us mom and dad and our daughter it’s still mommy and daddy.

So with my parents it was not all business but we also were very clear that he was not giving us options or suggestions and most importantly we were on his time not ours.

Last night when I told my kids to go to bed they dragged their feet, begged to watch one more show, and took too long getting off the couch, getting upstairs and getting ready to finally go to sleep. When my father said go to bed my brother and I were in bed before we finished saying yes sir.

Oddly is stuck for me but not my twin brother. I haven’t heard him call my father Sir since he left for college and I the military. I’m a different story. My parents were visiting in August. At 44 years of age, in my home, when my dad asked a question I responded with sir. But gave him a big hug and called him dad picking him up and dropping him off at the airport.