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Carolina · 29 May 2009, 01:38 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Taffi Abernathy

Dear Rolexgiants,

Just because other couples get divorced does not mean it will happen to you.
By your own admission, you would be miserable without her. Consider this: Which would be the greater tragedy - to lose someone you love or risk that your marriage could end in divorce? I think a certain amount of fear is absolutely normal when making a decision of this magnitude. Your question, "How many people here are divorced?" is not the real one, since you and your girlfriend have a relationship unique to yourselves. The real issue sounds like you are conflicted between a wish to move forward with plans and a simultaneous fear of making a committment. Soliciting opinions from everyone will not likely resolve your personal ambivalence since you are receiving differing points of view. Share your concerns openly with your girlfriend, and if you still can't resolve them, consider counseling.

Good points.

boa2 · 29 May 2009, 01:38 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by rolexgiants

then u become locked up....

Greatest part about it, IMO. It's pretty humbling when you consider that this other person chooses to be with you every day, day after day, for the rest of your life.

Married 11+ years, every day I'm blown away by my wife. (Yeah, Bubba, that too.

)

redshirt1957 · 29 May 2009, 01:39 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by rolexgiants

not at all... i mean with decisions... i am by far getting the better end of the deal... i know that...lol....im lucky to have her.....

Just read the responses and you can get a feel for life while being married.

redshirt1957 · 29 May 2009, 01:39 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Carolina

Good points.

Bah, what's love got to do about it?

Carolina · 29 May 2009, 01:40 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by redshirt1957

Bah, what's love got to do about it?

Quiet, Tina!

rolexgiants · 29 May 2009, 01:41 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Taffi Abernathy

Dear Rolexgiants,

Just because other couples get divorced does not mean it will happen to you.
By your own admission, you would be miserable without her. Consider this: Which would be the greater tragedy - to lose someone you love or risk that your marriage could end in divorce? I think a certain amount of fear is absolutely normal when making a decision of this magnitude. Your question, "How many people here are divorced?" is not the real one, since you and your girlfriend have a relationship unique to yourselves. The real issue sounds like you are conflicted between a wish to move forward with plans and a simultaneous fear of making a commitment. Soliciting opinions from everyone will not likely resolve your personal ambivalence since you are receiving differing points of view. Share your concerns openly with your girlfriend, and if you still can't resolve them, consider counseling.

thank you.... makes a lot of sense

boa2 · 29 May 2009, 01:42 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by kcmo

Well you do have to change your mindset if you get married...decisions should be made together. But if you have common goals, then that shouldn't really be a big issue IMO. Marriage shouldn't 'hold you back' so to speak. Do you have an honest relationship now with your GF where you can really tell her how you feel and why? Honesty is everything.

So true. When I hear people say that some secrets are OK to keep from your spouse, I cringe. If I withheld anything from her, it would immediately choke the relationship. Honesty only, especially when it makes you vulnerable.

redshirt1957 · 29 May 2009, 01:43 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by rolexgiants

thank you.... makes a lot of sense

Redneck version. Men love with their eyes. Women love with their ears.

rolexgiants · 29 May 2009, 01:43 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by boa2

Greatest part about it, IMO. It's pretty humbling when you consider that this other person chooses to be with you every day, day after day, for the rest of your life.

Married 11+ years, every day I'm blown away by my wife. (Yeah, Bubba, that too.

)

howard... u have the best marriage.... u hardly see ur wife...lol lol... only kidding

rolexgiants · 29 May 2009, 01:45 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by redshirt1957

Marriage is great, especially the 4th time around. I loved them all.

how many kids do u have total??

redshirt1957 · 29 May 2009, 01:47 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by rolexgiants

how many kids do u have total??

From marriage or in total?

Only one person on this forum knows the true answer to that question.

rolexgiants · 29 May 2009, 01:48 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by redshirt1957

From marriage or in total?

Only one person on this forum knows the true answer to that question.

lol... in total.. how many children

boa2 · 29 May 2009, 01:48 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by rolexgiants

howard... u have the best marriage.... u hardly see ur wife...lol lol... only kidding

Hah!

That's true, these past 9 months. Seeing her next week, though. And soon, we'll be living together again.

rolexgiants · 29 May 2009, 01:49 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by boa2

Hah!

That's true, these past 9 months. Seeing her next week, though. And soon, we'll be living together again.

where will u be living together??

boa2 · 29 May 2009, 01:55 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by rolexgiants

where will u be living together??

Either NY or SF.

On the subject of your thread, if you are yourself with her, then you're set for life.

AIKO · 29 May 2009, 02:02 AM

Nope, I am 39 and been with my wife for 22 years.

rolexgiants · 29 May 2009, 02:03 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by boa2

Either NY or SF.

On the subject of your thread, if you are yourself with her, then you're set for life.

im myself... but its marriage or bust....

redshirt1957 · 29 May 2009, 02:05 AM

[QUOTE=rolexgiants;1191487]im myself... but its marriage or bust....[/QUOTE]

I like both!

rolexgiants · 29 May 2009, 02:08 AM

i feel like im at the blackjack table... the dealer is showing a picture card... so i have to draw a card because i have 16????

Launch Mini · 29 May 2009, 02:09 AM

This thread is useless without pictures.
How can we give you an answer about marryiing her without knowing what she looks like

Mosco · 29 May 2009, 02:10 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by rolexgiants

3 years....i dont count... she does.....

Quote:

Originally Posted by rolexgiants

and by the way... we like to be called little people...lol

LOLOL! Dude - just go for it. At this point, the girl I refer to as 'my wife' isn't that on paper at all. But - we live together, own a house together, watch NBA together, go out (when possible) together... Have three kinds together! She is more of a wife to me than some of the actual 'wives' are to their husbands. You're together anyway, marriage is just a empty label, but it will make her happy. The only reason we aren't married yet is because we couldn't stop humping long enough for her to not be pregnant in her wedding gown

But I am getting snipped, so the ceremony is imminent, and I am not worried at all. She is my best friend, first and foremost, so the actual 'marriage' would not change much at all.

BTW, sorry your thread got hi-jacked, I had nothing to do with it...

rolexgiants · 29 May 2009, 02:11 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Launch Mini

This thread is useless without pictures.
How can we give you an answer about marryiing her without knowing what she looks like

lol..lol...lol... that was great

sexner · 29 May 2009, 02:11 AM

I have been divorced twice. Each time a Submariner had to go to help pay for sending the lovely ladies on their way. I switched to a GMT in 99 and am still with my best friend - living in sin though. Good luck

onkyo · 29 May 2009, 02:22 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mosco

LOLOL! Dude - just go for it. At this point, the girl I refer to as 'my wife' isn't that on paper at all. But - we live together, own a house together, watch NBA together, go out (when possible) together... Have three kinds together! She is more of a wife to me than some of the actual 'wives' are to their husbands. You're together anyway, marriage is just a empty label, but it will make her happy. The only reason we aren't married yet is because we couldn't stop humping long enough for her to not be pregnant in her wedding gown

But I am getting snipped, so the ceremony is imminent, and I am not worried at all. She is my best friend, first and foremost, so the actual 'marriage' would not change much at all.

BTW, sorry your thread got hi-jacked, I had nothing to do with it...

So Greg, are you going to invite us all to the real wedding when it happens?

Mosco · 29 May 2009, 02:28 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by onkyo

So Greg, are you going to invite us all to the real wedding when it happens?

Why wouldn't I? Well, maybe except all the Lakers fans!

Nevermind, wouldn't be a party without SirLoki and OmegaPrecision...

onkyo · 29 May 2009, 02:30 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mosco

Why wouldn't I? Well, maybe except all the Lakers fans!

Nevermind, wouldn't be a party without SirLoki and OmegaPrecision...

That's completely understandable.....

I am a (former) Celtics fan back in the day.

NJSub · 29 May 2009, 02:37 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mosco

She is my best friend, first and foremost, so the actual 'marriage' would not change much at all.

I'm not old nor wise, having been married for just a few weeks. But we have been together for 4+ years.

Mosco hit the nail on the head. The day I realized she truly was the best friend I ever had, and will ever have, is the day I realized that if marriage made her happy then that's fine with me. Having her in my life makes me happy so it is an even trade.

boa2 · 29 May 2009, 02:42 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by onkyo

So Greg, are you going to invite us all to the real wedding when it happens?

How about a double wedding, Pav?

ratae1950 · 29 May 2009, 03:07 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by rolexgiants

well my back is up against the wall.... i cant keep stalling forever... my girlfriend says either marry me or bye bye.... im 35.. she's 26... marriage makes me very uneasy.... but i do love her so much.... a lot of my friends are divorced!!!!!! ??????????

Divorce is rough particularly when children are involved. The law is interpreted generally in the favor of the mother. Divorce can also be costly. I would strongly recommend a prenuptual agreement to define what happens if.... This can be challenged later, but it offers some protection. Better to make the agreement during the T&B phase of the relationship.

Good luck!

JJ Irani · 29 May 2009, 03:40 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by rolexgiants

well my back is up against the wall.... i cant keep stalling forever... my girlfriend says either marry me or bye bye.... im 35.. she's 26... marriage makes me very uneasy.... but i do love her so much.... a lot of my friends are divorced!!!!!! ??????????

What the hell happened to words like: CONFIDENCE, TRUST, MUTUAL RESPECT and LOVE??

I mean, if you really love each other and have already been together for as long as 3 years, then what's stopping you two from tying the knot?

Zemina and I met in Jan. 1970, got married the SAME year in November and have been happily in love for over 39 years!!

Why do people living in the Western world feel so insecure about marriage?

JJ

29 May 2009, 02:09 AM	#50
Launch Mini "TRF" Member Join Date: Jan 2006 Real Name: John Location: Canada, eh Watch: can I? Posts: 6,241	This thread is useless without pictures. How can we give you an answer about marryiing her without knowing what she looks like __________________ Something witty to go here. Member # 293

29 May 2009, 02:11 AM	#53
sexner "TRF" Member Join Date: May 2009 Real Name: 4Q Location: Nowhere near you Watch: 169622, 124060 Posts: 2,014	I have been divorced twice. Each time a Submariner had to go to help pay for sending the lovely ladies on their way. I switched to a GMT in 99 and am still with my best friend - living in sin though. Good luck __________________ One should endeavor to do what is right not what is established.

29 May 2009, 02:02 AM	#46
AIKO "TRF" Member Join Date: Nov 2008 Location: South Carolina Posts: 1,937	Nope, I am 39 and been with my wife for 22 years.

29 May 2009, 02:05 AM	#48
redshirt1957 "TRF" Member Join Date: Sep 2007 Real Name: Bubba Location: Bitsyville! Watch: Blue YM today! Posts: 10,053	[QUOTE=rolexgiants;1191487]im myself... *but its marriage or bust....[/*QUOTE] I like both!

29 May 2009, 02:08 AM	#49
rolexgiants "TRF" Member Join Date: Aug 2008 Location: new york, usa Posts: 2,901	i feel like im at the blackjack table... the dealer is showing a picture card... so i have to draw a card because i have 16????

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