Saying “I love you”

[GB-man]

Love you is reserved only for my wife, son and Josh Allen in this house.

[JasoninDenver]

I say it all the time to the people whom I would regret never having had the opportunity to do so if they were no longer with me. Multiple times each day to my wife and daughters. And we mean it. It is not a performative guesture.

[austinp]

Originally Posted by CalSRQ1

Yes everyone to their own…but I’ve spent my career dealing with families after a loss and not infrequently I’ve had adult children lament a dad that never said “the words” and then trying to talk thru having them look at the actions to find their love. Also a huge family estate fight that boiled down to dad loved you more bc he said it to daughter but not to son. We’re such complicated creatures. We should all consider not just what we’re comfortable doing…what language does my (son,daughter,spouse,etc) speak? I’m going to be dead a long time - whatever a person I love needs to see or hear to know I love them isn’t wasted effort.

Couldn’t agree more. Leave no doubt that the ones close to you absolutely know they are loved.


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[superdog]

Originally Posted by Moondoggy

I think I say it to my dog wayyyyyy to often.

Same.

I do say it to people too. My folks. My friends. Often.

But I show them with my actions too. More so than with words. I’m very devoted to those that are close to me.

[superdog]

Originally Posted by CalSRQ1

Yes everyone to their own…but I’ve spent my career dealing with families after a loss and not infrequently I’ve had adult children lament a dad that never said “the words” and then trying to talk thru having them look at the actions to find their love. Also a huge family estate fight that boiled down to dad loved you more bc he said it to daughter but not to son. We’re such complicated creatures. We should all consider not just what we’re comfortable doing…what language does my (son,daughter,spouse,etc) speak? I’m going to be dead a long time - whatever a person I love needs to see or hear to know I love them isn’t wasted effort.

Brilliant.

[DocHorton]

Imagine being a son or daughter growing up and your Dad never told you he loved you. How sad.

I tell my wife and kids every day that I love them, with both my words and my actions. They need and want to hear it and see it, and we are a very affectionate family with words and lots of hugs.

[KatGirl]

Originally Posted by Rock

Saying "I Love You" is not "showing affection" it is just saying some words - like "Have a Nice Day".
In my family we "say I love you" by the way that we treat each other and what we do for each other. Many committments of time and effort and support that actually "cost" the giver. Actions not words. Everyone to their own, however.

That may be how you feel, but I don’t say it lightly, like I’m saying, “pass the butter”. Words are powerful, and important. So, Yes, I say it to family, and even close friends. I say it to my husband, daily, and not just before bed. I like to remind him, of it, out of the blue, when he least expects it. It makes him smile. Life is short. Express yourself.

Kat


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[1st amg]

Originally Posted by CalSRQ1

Yes everyone to their own…but I’ve spent my career dealing with families after a loss and not infrequently I’ve had adult children lament a dad that never said “the words” and then trying to talk thru having them look at the actions to find their love. Also a huge family estate fight that boiled down to dad loved you more bc he said it to daughter but not to son. We’re such complicated creatures. We should all consider not just what we’re comfortable doing…what language does my (son,daughter,spouse,etc) speak? I’m going to be dead a long time - whatever a person I love needs to see or hear to know I love them isn’t wasted effort.

Wow, this hits home. Thanks for the vindication of your career experiences.

[Easy E]

I could probably count on one hand the number of times I heard that from my dad. My kids hear it from me everyday, several times.

[JTL31]

My daughter & I say it to each other daily. My parents are long gone; I never doubted my mom’s love for me but did my dad’s. He never told me he loved me. This gutted me when he died. He was an alcoholic my whole life and I assumed he loved the bottle more than me. Over time, I realized his way of asking about my car before a trip or bringing up other (what I thought were) mundane issues was “his” way of showing concern, respect, and love. As far as friends go, the first time one told me they “appreciated me” I felt honored and began saying that to my close friends as well.

I tease my brothers often because our hugs with each other are short but always involve a pat….pat…pat 3x’s with one hand on the other’s back. None have said they love me, but I know each of the 3 would give the shirt off their back and do ANYTHING to help me when in need. Being female, it’s easier for whatever reason, to tell my 2 sisters.

So, there’s a long winded answer for ya! Lol.

[REQUIEMnJADED4U]

I say it everytime I speak to my wife, my parents, and my siblings. I take nothing for granted and am a firm believer of always expressing what you feel in the most positive way possible.

[MrGoat]

It makes my day to see so many here are like me!!
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[omar10213245]

Originally Posted by MrGoat

It makes my day to see so many here are like me!!
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love you, bro

[pickettt]

Originally Posted by DocHorton

Imagine being a son or daughter growing up and your Dad never told you he loved you. How sad.

I tell my wife and kids every day that I love them, with both my words and my actions. They need and want to hear it and see it, and we are a very affectionate family with words and lots of hugs.

I can remember my dad saying it to me once in my life. I don't find it sad. People manifest their love in many different ways, and I never doubted for a single moment that my dad loved me. His actions, support, and sacrifices spoke for themselves. That being said, IF the people you love need to hear it, even if it's clear through action, perhaps we could accommodate them.

[John Deaux]

If it's someone I love, it's the last thing they hear when we part ways in person or on the phone...mother, brother, wife doesn't matter. Tomorrow isn't promised.

[Chiboy]

Actual conversation this morning with dad:

Please pass the cream. Love you.

Hear ya go. Sugar? Love you.

Sure, thanks. Love you.


What do I win? 😁

I say it to my wife often. My parents don’t ever say it, but I squeezed it out of them by initiating it as we were leaving sometime recently.

[TK-710]

I say it o my wife, son and daughter multiple times a day.
To my parents at the end of our conversations.
Oddly almost never to my bother although he’s definitely deserving.
To my dog more than anyone else. To my cat never.

[MrGoat]

Originally Posted by Pw92676

I rarely heard these words growing up. Now I tell my wife, son and dogs that I love them probably 5 times a day. Say it to my best friends whom I consider family. Interestingly my in laws also are a bit awkward with it so I stopped saying it to them routinely.

I think it weirds my in-laws out too. I still say it to them though. Every once in a while I get it back in almost a whisper from my MIL during a hug. I consider that a win since I’ve rarely heard them say it to their own children in 10 yrs.


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[The Joker]

Originally Posted by rootbeer7

Here in Britain were far too reserved for that nonsense

Yep, I only say it when drunk. Then I love everyone

[MrGoat]

Originally Posted by TK-710

I say it o my wife, son and daughter multiple times a day.
To my parents at the end of our conversations.
Oddly almost never to my bother although he’s definitely deserving.
To my dog more than anyone else. To my cat never.

Originally Posted by Pw92676

I rarely heard these words growing up. Now I tell my wife, son and dogs that I love them probably 5 times a day. Say it to my best friends whom I consider family. Interestingly my in laws also are a bit awkward with it so I stopped saying it to them routinely.

Originally Posted by Moondoggy

I think I say it to my dog wayyyyyy to often.

Originally Posted by superdog

Same.



I do say it to people too. My folks. My friends. Often.



But I show them with my actions too. More so than with words. I’m very devoted to those that are close to me.

My dog will have separation anxiety if I do not kiss him on the head and tell him I love him, to be a good boy and I will see him when I get home before I leave the house. I’ve literally watched the difference on camera.

It is amazing to me how those three words have an innate way of providing comfort, even across species.


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[The Joker]

I love you all

[MrGoat]

Just for clarity and a slight view into my own life. This thread was started because I said “I love you brother” to one of my best friends while giving him a big hug in public.

I realized it was met with some odd looks from those around us (that didn’t know us). Then I started thinking about how some in my life I have never heard say it.

Is it a stigma that you’re less of a man if you show emotion?

Is it a byproduct of how you were raised?

Is it a societal issue that is based of stigma and societal pressure being aware you’re always being judged?

Is it cultural?

I still have so many questions.

The one thing I have learned from my own experience is, after I had experienced real trauma and emotions and realized how to process those emotions and move forward I became more open to sharing any emotion.


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[East Bay Rider]

Originally Posted by MrGoat

Just for clarity and a slight view into my own life. This thread was started because I said “I love you brother” to one of my best friends while giving him a big hug in public.

I realized it was met with some odd looks from those around us (that didn’t know us). Then I started thinking about how some in my life I have never heard say it.

Is it a stigma that you’re less of a man if you show emotion?...

It's actually very common parlance in the biker community. Strong men form strong bonds.